Saturday, January 31, 2015


Well folks-- once again I need to put my tail between my legs, scratch my toe a little on the ground and apologize about not writing.

I know some of you actually read this little thing of mine-- and sadly I do write-- I just often forget to post.  So the next few days* you will be treated to some random musings about life in Fitztopia.
A quick update on where life stands these days-- and some comments that are long overdue in terms of things I mentioned here and then totally failed to circle back on. 
  1. Moira.  Still awesome.
  2. Moira.  We went through her official hearing test and she did awesome.  Like seriously seriously awesome.   Nana, James, Moira and I did a full day appointment at the U of Minnesota.**   Through a miraculous coincidence of nursing and a super sleep-deprived baby we were able to do the test without sedation. She shows minor hearing loss in one ear.   One ear is just a shade below normal (bad enough to fail the screen but not bad enough to need a hearing aid and the other ear is hearing at a level that would be considered quite normal for an adult (25db).   At this point we are not going to do hearing aids-- my experience having gone through this before is that they are damn impossible to keep on their little ears anyway and since we don't have access to getting the rubber mold done at the monthly frequency needed when they grow that rapidly-- we are going to pass and re-evaluate in a few months.  Our audiologist is fully supportive of this plan and we feel comfortable having been through this gauntlet before.   She is continuing to meet her language milestones-- humming and singing and the basic bubble making that babies do.   As you can imagine-- this was TREMENDOUS news and we are feeling so incredibly grateful.  She is so clearly our most extroverted (read: LOUD) child so we will know if something changes and she isn't picking up as much.   We are so glad that we are dealing with a minor issue and that she has such an awesome bro to guide her on the path.
  3. James' hearing is still stable at around 40-50db in some frequencies.  We did an awesome game of dinosaur basketball where he threw dinos into a box whenever he heard a hum.  Hearing tests are loads more fun as they get older and can actually participate.  Young hearing loss parents-- have faith. It gets better.      
  4. James and Moira are getting tested for a genetic link to the hearing loss.  It's probable that the CMV diagnosis that we thought James had was a red herring and that there is a link genetically with our kiddos.  When we tested James we didn't find anything but in simple simple terms-- the 5 or so tests that were common then are now 100's. Amazing what science can do in a few short years.  We are doing a panel on both kids and will hopefully know more soon.
  5. Speaking of Speech and language--Simon is starting speech therapy.  He has come so far but still struggles to annunciate the ends of his words.  For example, I wouldn't know the difference between Mom, Milk or More out of context.   It's getting better but his speech is more at the level of an 18-monther than a 30-monther and we aren't sure how to coach it. We have had a couple great initial meetings and evaluations and we feel great about the guidance already coming in from the pros.  It is very possible that three of the four of my children will be in speech therapy.  Uffda.
  6. We spent Christmas in Minnesota and it was pretty awesome.  It was the first year since Matt and I have been together that we didn't go to Florida.  It was different but good.  The kids really understood Santa this year and I felt such joy with all the festivities.  Deirdre was probably my favorite in terms of Christmas reactions.  She hyperventilated when she opened her favorite gift and spent much of the day outside in her Frozen dress***  We have a great video of her standing on the edge of lake (her tundra)  belting Let It Go in the musical styling of  her dress while Pop Pop tried to get her to put her coat on. Elsa does not wear a coat.  Her passionate interpretation reminded me of the Star Search youth category. But without the skill.   It was awesome and now we have a cat bell to tell where our daughter is.****
  7. We saw so many friends and family which was perfect.  I have been so blessed in this life time and it felt so special to have so many folks to pick right back up with-- squeeze kids, sit and contemplate life, celebrate birthdays, meet new boyfriends and just laugh and cry and celebrate without any filter. 
  8. I have a job. Through the last few months I have been consulting with some old friends which led me to an opportunity I was excited about.  It is very similar to the work I did in a past life but in a way that is much more entrepreneurial.  I am almost one month in and in general-- it's going well. I am re-adjusting to life in  a more structured world-- liking the ability to use my analytical side and work with a team.  It's been a little tricky on the family front-- I am on my third trip in the month and will be planning to travel twice a month or so for the next few months.   Matt is a champ however and we are making the appropriate modifications for me to have balance-- which frankly for me involves having something outside the home.  I could write a novel about my experience with trying to be a stay-at- home mom.  I may still one day-- but let's just say I have respect for all choices of mothering. It's a tough job-full time, part time, any time.  My brain is a busy place and my old friend insomnia is back in my life.  It isn't anxiety as much as excitement as I navigate new problems, organizations and the work environment.  We have launched our first few initiatives and I feel like I am winning some basic battles- so hopefully my enthusiasm intensity, obsession will settle in time as I get more comfortable in the role.
  9. We are back in Ketchikan and that feels really good too.  The weather has been tough-- cloudy and rainy but it's still such an incredibly beautiful place with such interesting folks.****   
  10. Last week I marked the 20th anniversary of my mom's passing.  Hard to believe that is the truth- but again, here we are.  I have a whole lot to say on that topic as well but it doesn't belong here.
Love to all of you who support us with such love.  We are grateful as always.
*Let's be real. . . Weeks.  It's important to  maintain my mystery.
**  Nana the source of all support and happiness.  She was INSANELY helpful in what ended up being a really long day.  I asked her to come to help with the kids but also because she is a positive force of nature.  I didn't know how I would do emotionally with the appointment and Matt wasn't there-- she proved to be incredibly awesome-- both on the kid front and the mom front.
***Which sang and lit up.  At Target, Matt and I saw it at the same time and both said. . . That is Awesome/Awful at the exact same time.  For the record- I am of the awesome persuasion- as was my daughter.
****The 12 dollar lights and sound dress isn't of the highest quality so goes off without notice from time to time.  But for 12 bucks I feel like I have already gotten my value out of it.
*****Have I mentioned that my neighbors include an artist and a sled dog racer?  Cool shit folks.  We have a sled team in our neighborhood.