Friday, May 2, 2014

Adoption Language

I came across this video on Facebook last week and thought I would share if you haven't seen it.  In this video, the dad compares adoption language to a boob job-- aka, if you wouldn't say it about a boob job, you should avoid it for adoption as well.  

In general, I think this is great.  We have received a few comments about our adoption that fall into the boob job genre "how much was he?" "Where are his real parents?" Sure, those comments make you cringe a bit but I think there is usually a genuine intent behind the question.  

Often, I think some times people want to ask questions about Simon but are tentative to step into taboo territory. *   It's also as clear to me when someone is trying to walk on egg shells about our conspicuous family by over-complimenting his looks or intelligence or avoiding the adoption subject entirely.**

If people want to ask about costs or process, I would hope to be a resource for another family interested in the journey.  There is always a time and place for supporting each other-- even if the topic is sensitive.   Also for our friends and family- we wanted to be transparent about the process so they could support us (and him) in our journey to adopt.  I am not easily offended by curiosity!

So, for as much as I love the sentiment behind the video (and can certainly appreciate the humor), I would still encourage people to keep talking even if it means that sometimes it gets a little bumbled. 

Here is a resource on positive adoption language from Adoptive Families-- let's keep the conversation hopping!  

Speaking of language-- sweet Simon has crossed over from approximate mumblings to more clear words.  We heard a great "more pasta" and a "daddy" the other day.   He can get frustrated making his point*** so we are hoping that language will give him the freedom to make his needs better known.

*I think we all know when someone is trying to choose their words carefully. . .  it's a little awkward and certainly doesn't further dialogue!  
**I kid you not, someone complimented his brown eyes and then said "just like his mama!"
***And he is approaching two

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