Friday, April 12, 2013

The Hard Lines, The Soft Lines

After some recent reflection-- I realized that I have been sick almost all friggen winter.  I know people talk about the day care bugs-- but with James it wasn't an issue-- with Deirdre I may as well see her runny nose and cancel the next week of plans because inevitably it's coming my way.

After months of feeling icky with repeat viral visitors- I am finally emerging into the world of the healthy.  More than anything I have a desire to spend some time wiht my kiddos since we have been very, very low key for many weeks.   It's hard to feel like a good mom when you are secretly hoping everyone will go to bed. . . so YOU can go to bed.

Matt is on evening call this week so it's just me and the week gets long unless I find some structure to break up the hours.   Last night I decided that it was time for some fun times for the Fitz kids.

Our community center has a pretty great splash pad so I thought it would be uber awesome to pick the kids up a little early, drive around for 10 minutes while they finished a snack in the car* and then go SWIMMING. 

I picked up kids with snacks, swim diapers and suits packed to find one kid hyped (James) and one kid sleepy (Deirdre).  Great combo, folks.

We get to the pool and James narrated his clothing journey with punctuating every sentence with "we're going swimming, right?"

I am taking off my socks because we're going swimming, right??
I am putting on my shorts because we're going swimming, right??

The kid was hyped.

We get to the warm pool and get in-- Daisy starts crying because she's not in the mood and James announces that he has to go potty.   OUT of the water we go and head back to the locker room where he comments, "I'm ok, I don't have to go potty."


Back to the warm pool. . crying, hyped.  " I have to go potty." repeat repeat.


Back to the warm pool.  James says he wants to go potty by himself. No.  Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

James starts "exploring" the fringes of the adult pool area-- no longer interested in the kiddie pool.   James wasn't really being malicious but he wasn't really listening either.  And we are near deep water which is a hard line for me.

So, this is when the realization hit me-- we are in a bad place.  I can't leave Deirdre in a kiddie pool to go chase after James as he pushes my buttons.   I think there are times when I bend the rules with James a little bit because I know that it's a petty crime.  But there are times where I think if I bend the rules it's going to bite me in the ass later.    I also realized that if/when there are three this will be a dangerous situation.  I would have to pick up two little ones to go get James out of the red zone. 

net/net.  James needs to get his act together.

Last night became a lesson. . .and I felt like the worst mom in the world.  After several warnings I told him that we would have to go home if he didn't listen. . . shockingly he didn't.. . and we proceeded to have the biggest fucking fit in public.

We spent 60 minutes getting ready to go swimming, 10 minutes in/near a pool, 15 minutes in time-out in the locker room, and 30 minutes getting changed to come home.

Who wants a glass of wine?

Seriously though, I am not sure what the right course of action is in these situations.  Once James calmed down he told me that he was mad at me.**  We talked about things that James always has to do.  You always have to listen to Mom at the pool and you always have to hold hands in the parking lot.  Hard lines.

This is a tough job.  

* This step is a crucial success factor for evening activities. 
**  For the record, I was mad at him too.  


  1. Rough night! It is hard. But, you did the right thing by standing your ground in a situation where safety could have been a concern. Hope you did get to enjoy a glass of wine when you got home :)

  2. Thanks Jen-- the three year old temper tantrums are tough! I didn't ever go for the wine-- but I did tuck myself into bed extra early!