On This Very Special Episode of Blossom

Dana learns a lesson in pride.

So all summer year I have been talking here and everwhere about health.   I had these "goals" we will call them about getting back into shape post baby and making health a priority in our family life this year.    Some things have gone well and some things haven't.

Week after week I have been feeling stronger  and ready to conquer the race in two weeks.*

I had been feeling so strong that I have started to change my goals from "finishing" to looking at a goal time (for me, 5 hours).   I have done three 18 mile runs and each one got steadily better and so I thought, sure let's see what happens if I speed up a little bit.** 

I decided to do one final long run to build confidence. .  to imagine myself climbing up Summit, kicking ass taking names. ..  I set out to have this be a glorious day.

So what happens if I speed up?-- well it turns out that I totally fold.  Totally, utterly completely fold.  As in, I took a 10 minute rest on a bench and then walked crawled the last 4 miles back. I have never experienced something so profoundly wall-like. I know the term is there for a reason but man did it suck. 

I am up in the air if I am going to do the marathon at this point-- as hard as I worked- I probably didn't work hard enough. . . my summer was all about moderation and family balance as much as it was about my own health. I ran 3 days a week max which is probably short of where I should have been.  It's a bit of a bummer to pull out this late- but I really need to think about what would happen if I hit a wall like I did.  I absolutely can not walk 12 miles. . . .   and at the end of the day I want this to be a positive experience. . . .and yesterday was definitely not.

boo.

*It turns out that running is hard people.  Maybe not for "other" people but for this person it is.  I had been feeling really good despite the fact that I could run (count-em) 1 mile when I started marathon training when Deirdre was 2 months old.

**I decided to drop 1 minute a mile.  this was a mistake.

Married Life

Tonight at Costco* . . . We walked by a video screen of John Mayer singing. 

Matt: He isn't even that cute. Why do women swoon?

Dana: He writes lovely things like "your body is a wonderland."

Matt: What if I wrote a song called "your body is jungle gym?"

Dana: It would be more accurate if you wrote "your body is a bounce castle".   Then we would be closer to the truth.

* yep, costco on a Friday night

Oh For Pete

I have the hardest time trying to write about the mundane when my head is actually full of stuff.  I start to avoid this place a bit when my thoughts are too complex.  Blogging is a lot easier when it's a cute kid pic.
Life is going well for us-- it's BUSY but almost entirely fun busy.   We have been having a lot of conversations around the Fitz household about the future state (3 kids) and what that means for our home life.  The waiting game has been almost all-consuming over here.  We are starting to hear that there could be good news coming our way soon-- but we have heard that before. In fact, we thought when we started that it was going to go "too" fast and that we would have two kids under 1-- now looking back (2.5 years later) and it seems an almost laughable scenario.

This waiting business is tough because although we are getting closer to the adoption, there is no news yet and for the first time in my life I have started to really get the "half pregnant" phrase. I am torn in the sense that I am feeling an urge for a change but I don't want to become overwhelmed if by the grace of God, our long awaited little boy turns up. 

But in the classic angel/devil shoulder debate-- What if the adoption doesn't happen for xx months or years longer. . . and carpe diem, international adoption can be too unpredictable to base life decisions on. . . life is short. etc. etc.   yah.  That's where my head is at.   Everybody clear?  Me neither. 

The short is-- for many years I have talked about living a bolder life professionally and personally.  Ever since my good friend passed away last summer, I have had a hard time getting the nagging thought out of my head. 

The issue is that I am not entirely sure what 'bolder' means. . . but I am keeping my ear to the ground and listening hard.  It may mean more time with my family, it may mean a new career path or even a hobby.  I am not sure- but I definitely feel the universe at work in my life.  Good things seem to happen when I let the universe be in charge so I am hanging out open and willing.

In other news-- we are moving forward with our renovation and that is going ok so far. 

Anyone want to help us move a treadmill out of the basement next weekend?