Friday, December 30, 2011

So How is That Adoption Going?

Catching up with folks during the holidays is one of my favorite things ever.  EVA.  It also made me realize that I haven't circled back lately to let you know how we are progressing with our ET adoption.

International adoption is a roller coaster-- it's a well chronicled roller coaster and now one that I can speak to first hand.    We have several friends who have gone through the process and they all mentioned the need for FLEXIBILITY.

Here is our story as of now.

  • December 2008- Dana and Matt get married. Dana mentions that she feels drawn to adoption. Matt says A-OK but is particularly drawn to Africa.  We enter into marriage with the "loose" plan of having adopted children. . . you know "some-day".  ;)
  • November 2009- James is born and has some hearing issues.  We find out that it is due to a virus called CMV. The doctor recommends that we give 12-24 between pregnancies so that we clear the virus from my bod.
  • January 2010- We start researching adoption.  If we have some time between pregnancies, would now be a good time to grow our family in this way?
  • February 2010- We start talking to our families about adoption.  The overall response was very positive. . . well, after they got over the fact that we wanted to adopt and we had a 3 month old.   After we explained that most wait lists were at least 18-24 months everyone calmed down considerably :)  
  • April 2010- We pick an agency and start squirreling away money for the adoption.
  • June 2010- We finish our home study and start sending formal documentation
  • August 2010- All paperwork is completed, stamped and we enter the wait list.  We are open to a child of either gender.  Our initial timelines were moving very fast and we were looking at a wait of less than 6 months.  At the time that seemed pretty incredible to us. 
  • September 2010-May 2011- Things with the Ethiopian government change month by month.  ET adoption had become very popular and the government made some decisions to slow down adoption in the country in order to maintain their advocacy for the children. Hard to disagree with that.  Major changes with the program included a cap on how many court hearings there are a day,  a change from 1 trip to 2 trips to ET for potential parents and where the US paperwork is processed.  Flexibility!   Our wait is looking much longer at this point, but it's all good since we are loving hanging out with our little boy in the meantime.
  • May 2011- We are currently hovering around 2 or 3 on the infant boys list and around 8 or 9 on the infant girls list.  Our agency had some orphanages close and does not see any referrals in the near future.  They recommend that if we want to continue to grow our family, that we might consider a biological child now and put our adoption on hold.   Also in May, I get tested for CMV and find out that my immunity levels are back to normal.  Healthy as a horse. 
  • June 2011- Preggers.  Matt credits his Irish Catholic blood line. 
  • December 2011-  We are still on the list at the agency.  There have been no referrals in the past 6 months.  At this point we are in conversation with our agency about how to handle a referral once we have this baby. 
Our inclination is to move forward with the adoption once our baby girl is born.  Since it takes several months to bring your adopted child home, this means that we might be adding to the Fitz clan again in late 2012. (which I tend to think would still be a very fast timeline given what we have experienced,  more realistic to think 2013 at some point.)

Granted, we are keeping a flexible attitude in this household because none of our anticipated timings have proven true yet.

We are officially playing it by ear to see what happens. The arrival of baby girl doesn't change the fact that we feel called to adoption.  I do think that this is starting to feel like some sort of elephant pregnancy with a multi-year gestation.   I have been dreaming of this little child for so long and really look forward to the day when he (likely) joins our home.

3 comments:

  1. What a great outlook you have. It will all work out just as it should, after all. What an exciting time for you!
    Jenn F

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  2. My sister adopted a "disabled" baby girl from Korea in 2005. I can tell you that adding that sweet little Sophie to our family (I'm her godmother) has been NOTHING but a blessing, even given her special needs (which, as she gets older, become less and less of an issue). You two are an amazing couple and I wish you all of the joy with your prospective adopted child that our family has gotten! Break a leg!

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  3. Thanks for your comments. We are keeping our fingers crossed!

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