The last month has been one of the busiest in our marriage. We have rehearsal many nights each week (Matt more than me) and I am still reeling in 'new job-itis' and on top of this, we decided to refinance our house-- which is a good long term move, but for those of us who aren't good at the detail work of house projects, meant that we had a lot of half-baked projects to wrap up. I am thankful for a good partner through this all-- but nonetheless, I have often thought over the last couple of weeks. "Have we finally over-done it?"
This isn't a frequent thought of mine, I am someone who thrives in chaos-- I actually prefer a little bit of nuts. This time around, I have felt that things were a little beyond me though-- and I am starting to crack a bit. I love everything I am doing, but I am really missing the opportunity to connect with people well. I had a friend who wanted to talk, another friend who had a big event and JAMES who wanted his monkey towel-- all very important things but in the back of my head I am (a little bit) thinking of my to-do list.
This is not my standard approach to things- but I am curious if this is a natural part of adulthood.
I often think that it would be great if I didnt have to work and I could just spend my day hanging out with James. But I also think, oh, wouldn't it be great if I didn't have to clean my house so that I could spend more time 'connecting with my body' ' connecting with my family' 'connecting with my spirit' 'connecting with my friends.' Wouldn't it be great if you could save for retirement, and take the vacation you dream of-- life is short afterall!
It would appear that balancing the need to be dones with the LIKE to be dones is a natural part of maturity.
I am thinking about this at the moment because I realize that this judgement call is something I encounter multiple times a day-- today for instance I am working on a presentation for tomorrow morning. . .and I want to hang out with James. I could do one of two things, we could watch Elmo and I could continue on my laptop which kind of makes me sad.. . . or I could put it in the back of mind until he heads to bed and likely be up late. (I don't do well on low sleep). So Spirit or Family? Needs, wants? Where does the compromise occur?
Especially in this year of gusto when putting marks in the fun column is a declared value, how do you be an advocate for what you need to do and an equal advocate for what you want?